The 2015 book by therapist Lindsay Gibson has sold over a million copies, and its popularity on social media has skyrocketed. What is the meaning behind it?
In a perfect world, adults would have greater maturity than children. They would be more adept at managing pressure, settling disputes with others, or communicating their emotions.
The book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by therapist Lindsay Gibson offers a disconcerting substitute in the first chapter.
What if, the author speculated, “some sensitive children are born and within a few years outgrow their parents, who have been in the world for decades?
According to Tolstoy, every happy family is the same, but every unhappy family is unique in how it remains unhappy. According to Gibson’s book, the emotionally immature parent is a common deficiency among all unhappy families.
They retreat from their emotions, almost as quickly as they can. It is challenging to show vulnerability to them. They disregard other people’s emotional needs and seldom reflect on the motivations behind their actions.
An adult child will be impacted in areas like emotional processing and intimate relationships when these interactions occur during childhood, according to Gibson’s theory.
Since its initial publication in 2015, the book has expanded to a younger readership and recently achieved a million sales. It is currently the number one bestseller on Amazon in the parent-adult child relationships category.
Readers highlight their favorite passages in TikTok and Instagram reels, which receive hundreds of thousands of likes.
Outside of the book, the term “emotionally immature parent” has taken on a life of its own, popping up in posts that give guidance, list telltale symptoms of having one, and discuss the drawbacks of having one.
A character in a video skit says to another, “I am so sorry you had parents who did not make time for you when you were a child. Now that you are an adult, you try to prove you deserve love by obsessing over work and accomplishments.”
Adult Children, like other popular psychology books, has its moments of extreme generality. Less severe interactions coexist with cases of abuse and misbehavior by parents.
To illustrate, Gibson wrote that John, a 21-year-old, spends a lot of time with his parents, who were “tone-deaf when it came to respecting and fostering his autonomy.”
Compare this to Rhonda, another example from the book. She said to Gibson, “I felt like I was not with my family, even though I was with them.”
“They were totally unavailable to me. I was too nervous to tell them anything. There is such a thing as emotional abuse and neglect, and children are affected by the behavior of their parents.”
